Nothing Personal!

A lot of things that makes me crazy
A lot of things that makes me weary
I don't know if I am helping myself
All I know right now is that I need help!
I wanted to scream, but I choose to be quiet
I just don't know if they are willing to listen to my crying
I am scared to let down the pride that I've got
But I am more afraid of putting my family's name on the spot
I have brought them to much humiliation
I don't know how to stop doing this addition
I am not an addict
I am not at critic
I am not afraid to speak out
But I am scared to tell it and shout
I don't have the guts of telling such
I maybe you say a coward
But I guess this is my reward
I am not perfect
But all the more I am imperfect because of my non sense mistakes
I keep on asking God for miracles
But I guess, He won't listen in my despair.
Should I be thankful that this is me?
Or should I regret the life that you gave me for free?
I have been a fool until now
And I will always be no matter when and how
I am not getting young anymore
The more I grew older the more I grew colder
I have a lot of troubles that I left behind
I don't want my parents to know that I am struggling in the inside
I don't want them to again suffer from deep agony and headaches because of me
I just want to keep this on my own for them to be free
I--I have filled myself with I.
I have be I--no one has been we!
I am now empty
But I am shameful for you to fill me joyfully
I don't know who can be the person that I can turn to
Because I have already turned my back on you
Shame is like a leech on my body
It is too painful to keep it away from me
I have brought myself to its deeper misery
I guess dying is the best option, because it is free
Anyone can judge you when you make a mistake
Anyone can hurt you when you have been verdict
Anyone can turn there backs on you because they are ashamed of you
Anyone can be against you because they really don't love you
I hate doing the things that I have done before
But yet I ended up doing the same mistake over and over
It is like I am on an endless roller coaster
I don't want to keep on pretending that I am okay
I am sick and tired of it to say.
I am fed up
I am about give up
Can anyone please give me a sigh of hope?
Can anyone give me a love that is from above?
I don't know if He still hears me.
Because I have been a rebellious since I was a kid.
I want to give in
I want to give up everything.
I am nothing
I am nobody
I am not that somebody
I am not others what they think I am
I am not the person that you thought I am
I am not the person that can reach high mountains
I am just an average person trying to find its way home.
I am lost
I have suffered
I am hiding
I am uncured
I am searching
I am not a blessing
I am a burden
I am a pretender
I am a liar
I am a cheater
I am lazy
I am a fighter
I am a backbiter
I am a destroyer
I am killer of my own
I am a discourager
I am not perfect
I am not your friend
I am an offender
I am a quitter
I am a loser
I am a chicken
I am what can possibly think.
That is me.
Nothing so special, no potential, better to be quiet then die.

BEST among the REST

Friends are one of the reasons why we exist, why we continue on living, why we enjoy life, why we love life and learn to understand others and enjoy the uniqueness of an individual. We cannot leave without them for they are the ones that we can run to when we are afraid to open some troubles to our parents or sisters and brothers, share the happy moments with them that makes it unforgettable and many more.
I am blessed to have friends that I can count on and friends that are willing to listen to me. There might be times that we build misunderstandings, arguments and fed up by some non sense drama of one another—still we enjoy the company of each other because they are what I call as “BEST among the REST”.
They may not be perfect and many might be insecure about them, still that would not be a reason for me to turn my back from them for they never turned their backs from me. They taught me how to value people more and how to appreciate relationship for my eyes are opened of how valuable it is.
Saying thank you or affirming them is not enough for me to tell how blessed I am to have them and influence me in ways that I don’t know. I am blessed and grateful to have you gals in my life. You taught me how to take a step of maturity in me that made me stronger, tougher and understandable.
You might hale yourselves as “buang-buang”, “gaga”, “adik”, “lutaw”, “gwapo suppose to be “gwapa”, and many more—still I will thank God for you gals… :))
I AM HAPPY AND BLESSED TO HAVE YOU TO THE MAX IN MY LIFE. :)

THANKS GALS :)

YOU BELONG! :))

We are all potential offenders, no one is exempted because no matter what you do, you will be hurt, you will hurt others--you can offend them, you might be offended; you might notice it but unintentionally just do it. This is something that is a fact that we should realize and accept no matter what. People that we trust the most might disappoint us, might fail us, might not be always there for us... but let us always keep in mind that in times of loneliness there is our Creator who is willing to listen, to understand and will always accept you as who you are because YOU are LOVED by HIM.
You can be who you are for you cannot hide anything from Him. Say it or keep it, still He knows it :))

That's why, let us keep in mind, HE is there no matter what :))

Expression of a Broken Hearted